perspective — EMPOWERED TIMES BLOG

The Agency in Our Attitude ~ Keep the Blue Side Up!

I grew up in and surrounded by airplanes. After 9/11, I developed a sudden fear of flying. My father was a naval aviator, turned commercial airline pilot, and I would call him before boarding any flight. He would talk me through the technicalities and statistics to support the probability of my survival. He would end each call with the sound advice common among aviators: “Keep the blue side up!” The instruction is encouraging and simple: when in doubt, keep yourself upright. It’s an expression of encouragement and trust.

The “blue side” refers to an instrument in the cockpit called the “attitude indicator,” which helps the pilot to orient to the horizon and the blue sky above it. The aeronautical term “attitude” doesn’t refer to whether the pilot is in a good or bad mood, but rather as a way to determine how to proceed with confidence. Weather conditions change and storms are inevitable. Life, like hurtling through the air in a metal can, can get bumpy. Turbulence wakes us up and reminds us to pay attention. We encounter gloomy moods and gloomy skies. We get disoriented. By “keeping the blue side up,” we have a general point of reference, an “attitude” that supports us, as we navigate through our journey.

Bringing Ancient Wisdom into Our Future

Ancient Greek thinkers and philosophers explored the quantitative versus qualitative juxtaposition of the human experience. They had two distinct words to describe time—chronos (clocks & calendars) and kairos (an immeasurable moment). They coined the term hedonia to refer to worldly pleasures, and eudaemonia to describe an internal connection to our sense of purpose.

We are entering a new chapter in history in which the study of ancient practices and expansive states of mind are not only respectable subjects, but are also associated with health and vitality. Concepts such as meditation and breathwork have become more commonplace in the corporate world. Psychedelic-assisted therapies and plant-based medicines have gained traction among reputable medical and research institutions. These modern trends, rooted in ancient tradition, focus on the benefits of expanded states of consciousness which invoke a sense of freedom and possibility.

Memory Part 2: The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Memories make up the story of our lives.

We each possess a unique ability to consolidate, store, and integrate memories depending on how we process information. How and what we remember about our experiences becomes an evolving narrative. Our narrative consists of implicit and explicit memory and is influenced by the collective and cultural context in which we dwell. These narratives (with varying degrees of accuracy) contribute to our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. We can harness the malleability of our memory and the meaning we attribute to our experiences to support healing and internalize a more empowering story.

Explore six unique ways to tap into the transformative power of memory and the stories we tell ourselves.

Memory Part 1: Pieces of the Puzzle

Years ago I worked with nine-year old twins who were in the backseat of their aunt’s car when a drive-by shooter fired into the automobile killing their mother. The girls, who survived the assault, were impacted differently by the experience. As time went on, their memories of that significant day diverged even more. When we experience something intensely emotional (either positive or negative), we are more likely to remember it. Yet, how is it that two people who share the same experience might remember details completely differently? Everything we’ve ever experienced becomes a piece of the puzzle to create a representation of our life. The stories we tell ourselves are oftentimes the stories we inherently believe will sustain us and help us survive. This is a subjective process. In this two-part article, we explore the dynamic nature of memory and how it influences the stories we tell about ourselves and our world.

Finding Happiness in the Micro-Adjustments

Award winning playwright, Tom Stoppard said, “Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight.”

Discovering our equilibrium (aka balance) is a dynamic process. Life is constantly changing. What felt like a good balance yesterday might not feel relevant today or next week/month/year. When we are standing on one leg, our muscles automatically make infinite micro-adjustments to help us find our balance. Psychologically speaking, micro-adjustments can be equally effective in helping us discover equilibrium. Deepening our understanding of ourselves and our relationship with balance helps us to identify what feels off kilter so we can shift our weight accordingly. Even minor adjustments in how we think and how we approach life have the potential to influence our experiences in significant and powerful ways and tip our scale toward increased fulfillment and happiness.

The Dance: How to Ask for Space Without Stepping on Each Other's Toes

Overlapping work demands, social schedules, and family obligations can take a toll on our relationship with our partner. We may feel like we’ve lost connection. We may feel taken for granted. We may crave time alone or separate from our partner. How can we ask for what we need without potentially upsetting our partner? What if one person wants more time together and the other needs time apart? It can be painful when the needs of our partner conflict with our own needs. Yet the tension of conflicting needs and the process (“dance”) of discovering resolution can help us to recalibrate, reconnect, and ultimately establish a deeper level of intimacy.

An Abundance Mindset: 4 Ways to Shift Out of Scarcity Thinking

Scarcity is synonymous with inadequacy, deficiency, lack or dearth. Many of us experience scarcity when we operate from a place of not-enoughness. Concepts that characterize this not-enoughness (e.g. scarcity mindset, inferiority complex, imposter syndrome, etc.) have become common vernacular. Scarcity mindset implies a tightening, grasping, fearful and defensive stance. Just as we can get caught in a cycle of threat, shutting down, immobilization and fear, we can also embark on a self-perpetuating journey of choice, openness, flow and enoughness. Approaching our circumstances, decisions, and relationships from a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity, allows us to relax, open-up, and trust that whatever is, is enough.

Spring Into Action: Find Your Green Growing Edge

Spring is known as the season of rebirth and awakening which can also be associated with discomfort or “labor pains.” There is a stirring beneath the surface, a rumbling from within, the sense that things are shaking up. There is a distinct shift in the air, an expression of restlessness, a need to stretch and move, a longing for change. Similar to what happens in nature, when we begin to feel grumblings of restlessness, discontent or stuckness, this also indicates regeneration, emergence, and transformation. Whether that means stepping into the unknown, facing our doubts or fears, cultivating the seedlings of our creative aspirations, or nudging ourself out onto that green growing edge, we are called to take action.

Rooted in Self-Trust

We typically associate the concept of trust in relation to other people—how credible, believable or reliable we find someone to be. However, we often struggle to develop that same trust, confidence, and belief in ourselves. We can grow self-trust by deepening the roots of understanding of who we are, strengthening our trunk (or core) by honestly accepting, forgiving and being present for ourselves, and extending branches of ourself that respond to life’s challenges with flexibility and perspective. It is a process. Yet, cultivating this kind of deep inner trust is enduring, irreplaceable, and self-perpetuating.

~~ Expanding Inside Out: Part 2 ~~ Why and How to Open

As we enter into the holidays, we may find ourselves challenged to be around people with whom we disagree. We seem to increasingly judge those who don’t think, believe, or vote like us, and lash out against one another based on vaccination status, political affiliation, and personal priorities. Life is not binary. It’s not as simple as good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, black vs. white, blue vs. red, you vs. me. Life is a continuum of experiences and perspectives. How can we challenge ourselves to imagine what it’s like to see through another person’s eyes? Empathy is the art of figuratively stepping into another person’s shoes, and imagine what it’s like to be them. The ability to imagine an experience outside of our own helps to connect us with compassion. Compassion is the bridge to our shared experiences and our common humanity. In this article, consider four questions to inspire an expanded perspective, an abundant mindset, and curious compassion…

~~ Expanding Inside Out: Part 1 ~~ When We're Closed

As different as our modern life may be in comparison to the primitive threats to survival our ancient ancestors faced, we still encounter a plethora of real and perceived attacks—natural disasters, social and economic injustices, political rivalries, bullying in schools and social media, viruses run amok, and perhaps above all, vastly conflicting views on how to address those threats. When we feel threatened, we contract—physically, emotionally, and mentally. In this defensive position, we tend to operate from a place of fear, judgment toward others (or ourselves), and a need to protect or preserve what we have. What causes us to feel closed, cautious, and uncertain?

Falling Inward ~ 5 Ways to Harness Autumn Healing

For many years I dreaded the changing of the seasons from summer to fall. Days felt desperately short, nights were dark and threatening, and trees shed any sign of life leaving behind their tree skeletons. This began, for me, with a life crisis that took place during the autumn months several decades ago. For years afterward, I had a painful association the moment I felt the sharp shift in the air and the changing colors of leaves before they would drop from their branches. Whether we love or loathe the fall, this transitional season offers us an opportunity to heal from our past life experiences. Here are five key autumn themes to support our natural healing process…

Psychological Mirages: Perfection. Balance. Control.

Being from the southwest, where long roads stretch across the O’Keefe-esque landscape, I learned early on about the phenomenon of mirages. Off in the distance, it appears. A big puddle of water, right in the middle of the road. But as you drive closer, it vanishes. How much of our lives are spent in search of illusions and perceptions of ideals that are elusive and unattainable? Perfection, balance, and control are psychological mirages. In our striving for perfection, our longing for balance, and our grasping for control, we paradoxically lose it. What is it we are we truly seeking and how might we discover more of ourselves through the process?

Filter Focused ~ Are We Smudging Ourselves Out?

What is it that makes our society so filter-focused? Photo filter apps like Instagram, Facetune, and Perfect Me are designed to blur, lighten, soften and obscure our imperfections. We learn very quickly how to morph and modify ourselves to appear acceptable. The ways we filter ourselves go beyond the blemishes, wrinkles and extra pounds. We also find ways to blur our beliefs and values, smudge out our fears and insecurities, and obscure the truth of who we are. Filters may soften or dim our imperfections, flaws and faults, and we can utilize them with discernment. However, we must also remember the importance of high-resolution focus and clarity to guide us toward our deepest sense of authenticity.

Feeling Lost? How to Find Our Way

Years ago, before GPS was automatically connected to our everyday, handheld devices, I found myself (more than once!) lost in a foreign city, wandering aimlessly. What happens when we feel lost in our lives, doubt in ourselves, or stuck in a holding pattern? Most of us will encounter unexpected life surprises: health issues, job changes, pregnancies, family demands, etc. Life does not come with GPS, or a roadmap, or simple, easy-to-read directions. We have to navigate our way through trial and error. Here are four effective strategies to find our way when we are lost and make valuable self-discoveries in the process…

Quarantine Adventures: Reinventing Ourselves Post-Pandemic

With COVID and the resulting quarantine, this past year has been a foreign experience— a metaphorical journey to an uncharted territory and unknown world. Everything came to a sudden halt in ways most people have never seen before. We were thrust into isolation, navigating uncertainty and juggling new roles and responsibilities. Now, as more people become vaccinated and we slowly approach the possibility of life post-pandemic, there are sentiments of ambivalence about resuming “normal” life again. Consider these five questions to reflect on your experience and redefine your priorities as you resume life after quarantine.

The Paradox of Acceptance

Acceptance is a critical step toward any change we hope to manifest. How can we accept things as they are when we want them to be different? Are we meant to accept powerlessness, inadequacy, limitations, defeat, injustices? If we accept the way things are, does that mean we have given up, surrendered, forfeited? Are we saying “okay” to the extra 20-pounds, the stagnant marriage, the monotonous job, the nagging anxiety, the pervasive injustices in our world? If we accept things as they are, how do we expect anything to change? Acceptance invites us to approach instead of avoiding. It urges us to acknowledge rather than denying. In the counterintuitive paradox of acceptance we open up to positive change and potential for healing.

2020: The Year of the Breath

Lately, the breath has gotten a lot of press. 2020 seems to be the year of the breath, or perhaps more accurately, lack thereof. COVID-19, the global pandemic has affected millions of people across the world who have contracted the virus and struggled for breath. People have lost their lives, their loved ones, their livelihoods. In the midst of the virus crisis, we heard the haunting words, “I can’t breathe,” uttered by George Floyd as he was suffocated and publicly murdered under the knee of a white police officer. Our sense of physical and psychological safety has been severely compromised on a number of levels. The often overlooked luxury of breath has become the symbol of health, freedom, justice, and aliveness. As DJ D-Nice regularly reminded us this year, “Let it breathe.”

Cultivating WellnessErin MasonDecember 18, 2020adversity, current events, covid, freedom, health, breathe, breath, healing, justice, perspective, equity, racism, resilience, repair

It's a Marathon: Cultivating Emotional Endurance

The era of corona—this is turning out to be a marathon, not a sprint. Five months into this pandemic, and we don’t seem to be any closer to the end than we were when this all began. Rates of the virus are fluctuating, businesses are opening and closing again, unemployment is running out, press conference announcements continue to be confusing and conflicting, and events and plans are postponed indefinitely. We do not yet see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there are ways we can learn to increase our emotional capacity and stamina to stay the course.

Opening Our Eyes to Racism

The past few weeks, this country has witnessed a storm of violence and devastation, anger and pain, rage and fear, denial and defensiveness. The racism and injustice we continue to encounter in our society and within ourselves is a desperate call to us for change. Yet, many people struggle to know how to respond or what we can do that will actually make a difference.

We must be honest with ourselves. True introspection requires the capacity to observe, to acknowledge and accurately identify what is (and has been) happening, and to be keenly self-aware. Perhaps then, we might understand where to begin.

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