Posts tagged couples
Cultivating Security ~ Part 2: Do Relationships Fan the Flames of Our Insecurities, Or Do They Put Out the Fire?
Cultivating Security ~ Part 2: Do Relationships Fan the Flames of Our Insecurities, Or Do They Put Out the Fire?

Romantic, professional, platonic, familial… The relationships in our lives can significantly influence our physical, mental and emotional vitality. Meaningful relationships help us experience a sense of safety and trust, and have been shown to be a critical protective factor against common emotional or social ailments (eg. depression, addiction, etc). Yet we can also be hurt in relationships, which can ignite our insecurities and internal defenses. When we listen carefully and pay attention to our needs and feelings in the context of our relationships, we discover more about how to trust ourselves and others, and we access the incredible healing potential of relationships.

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People and RelationshipsErin Masonsecure relationship, relationships, healthy relationships, attachment, insecurities, couples, codependence, discovery, defense mechanisms, fear, trauma, heartbreak, love, loss, opportunity, safety, self-confidence, trust, threat, vulnerability
Cultivating Security ~ Part 1: Understanding Our Dragons (aka Insecurities)
Cultivating Security ~ Part 1: Understanding Our Dragons (aka Insecurities)

“It does not do to leave a dragon out of your calculations if you live near him,” author J.R.R. Tolkien advises. Many of life’s uncertain situations can provoke our “dragons." Insecurities cause us to feel anxious and doubt ourselves. When they emerge we may experience fear, lack of belonging or connection with others, and low self-worth. Getting to know your dragons can be powerful leverage as we navigate the challenges of life and relationships.

In this 3-part article, we explore:

  1. Where our insecurities come from and how, where, and when they show up

  2. The benefits and limitations of our relationships to help us heal and restore a sense of security

  3. How to deepen our sense of safety, trust and understanding from within ourselves to create a more sustaining and resilient self-identity.

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Self-DiscoveryErin Masonsecurity, secure relationship, insecurities, attachment, codependence, couples, healthy relationships, self-image, self-confidence, self-sabotage, trust, experience
The Dance: How to Ask for Space Without Stepping on Each Other's Toes
The Dance: How to Ask for Space Without Stepping on Each Other's Toes

Overlapping work demands, social schedules, and family obligations can take a toll on our relationship with our partner. We may feel like we’ve lost connection. We may feel taken for granted. We may crave time alone or separate from our partner. How can we ask for what we need without potentially upsetting our partner? What if one person wants more time together and the other needs time apart? It can be painful when the needs of our partner conflict with our own needs. Yet the tension of conflicting needs and the process (“dance”) of discovering resolution can help us to recalibrate, reconnect, and ultimately establish a deeper level of intimacy.

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People and RelationshipsErin Masonboundaries, balance, couples, couples therapy, relationships, connection, discovery, healthy relationships, interdependence, independence, love, mutuality, perspective, security, secure relationship, trust, truth, transition, exploration, vulnerability, values, time, space, conflict, honesty, non-judgement, curiosity, self-awareness, communication, self-regulation, partner, attunement, intimacy