self-sabotage — EMPOWERED TIMES BLOG

We bring compromise into everything from simple daily choices to difficult life decisions. This basic skill we learn from an early age can become more complicated over time as we navigate our significant relationships, our careers, and the things we value most in life. How do we know our compromises are sustainable? The line can feel blurry when we’re at the juxtaposition between compromising and sacrificing and settling (for status quo). We can unintentionally shift from a revered social skill into a form of self-abandonment. We may settle for an unfulfilling partnership rather than risk starting over. We find ourselves acceding to the work demands of long hours or hostile company culture because we’re convinced this is the best offer we’ll get. We acquiesce to the expectations of every one around us for fear of disapproval or disappointing anyone. Our capacity to attune to our needs, desires and interests ultimately supports our ability to understand where and how to compromise without abandoning ourself in the process. Discover your own unique balance between struggling and settling, stubbornness and sacrifice, conviction and compromise.

Navigating BalanceErin MasonDecember 7, 2023compromise, self-sabotage, relationships, decisions

Cultivating Security ~ Part 1: Understanding Our Dragons (aka Insecurities)

“It does not do to leave a dragon out of your calculations if you live near him,” author J.R.R. Tolkien advises. Many of life’s uncertain situations can provoke our “dragons." Insecurities cause us to feel anxious and doubt ourselves. When they emerge we may experience fear, lack of belonging or connection with others, and low self-worth. Getting to know your dragons can be powerful leverage as we navigate the challenges of life and relationships.

In this 3-part article, we explore:

Where our insecurities come from and how, where, and when they show up
The benefits and limitations of our relationships to help us heal and restore a sense of security
How to deepen our sense of safety, trust and understanding from within ourselves to create a more sustaining and resilient self-identity.

The Internal Tug-of-War

Have you ever promised yourself something, yet done the complete opposite? We typically have a rational understanding of what we want or what is “good” or “bad” for us, yet simultaneously we may feel pulled to act in ways that contradict our reasoning. When we experience internal conflict, it can be helpful to understand what is driving the disconnect. Are we acting in alignment with our true values or are we measuring ourselves by someone else’s standard or expectations? Do we feel free to make our own choices or are we overcompensating by asserting control in unhealthy or counterproductive ways? Does our innate need for safety and familiarity prevent us from taking the necessary risks toward positive change? Life is full of contrasts. We are able to mediate our internal conflicts through enhancing awareness and understanding of our inner contradictions.

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