decisions — EMPOWERED TIMES BLOG

We bring compromise into everything from simple daily choices to difficult life decisions. This basic skill we learn from an early age can become more complicated over time as we navigate our significant relationships, our careers, and the things we value most in life. How do we know our compromises are sustainable? The line can feel blurry when we’re at the juxtaposition between compromising and sacrificing and settling (for status quo). We can unintentionally shift from a revered social skill into a form of self-abandonment. We may settle for an unfulfilling partnership rather than risk starting over. We find ourselves acceding to the work demands of long hours or hostile company culture because we’re convinced this is the best offer we’ll get. We acquiesce to the expectations of every one around us for fear of disapproval or disappointing anyone. Our capacity to attune to our needs, desires and interests ultimately supports our ability to understand where and how to compromise without abandoning ourself in the process. Discover your own unique balance between struggling and settling, stubbornness and sacrifice, conviction and compromise.

Navigating BalanceErin MasonDecember 7, 2023compromise, self-sabotage, relationships, decisions

10 Ways to Navigate Life’s Challenging Changes

We are constantly moving through inevitable shifts and seasonal cycles in our respective lives. Getting married or splitting up. Welcoming a new baby or adjusting to an empty nest. Freezing eggs or surrendering to the waning biological clock. Changing careers or preparing for retirement.

At times we may encounter unexpected changes that can leave us feeling confused, disoriented, or even powerless. Other times, we might feel an inner restlessness motivating us to try something new. We may deeply desire something different—in a romantic relationship, career, location, or lifestyle—but struggle to find the impetus to act on it. We teeter between taking risks and staying with what feels safe and familiar. Whether you’re in a season of growth or pruning away, celebration or reflection, starting school or ending a chapter, incorporate these 10 simple strategies to navigate life’s challenging changes with greater ease and authenticity.

Redefining Forgiveness and How to Heal Without It

“Forgiveness makes me feel weak and vulnerable.” We can be hurt in a plethora of ways, from overt abuse and injustice, to social infractions and insensitive oversights. The latin word for forgive is “perdonare,” which means “to give completely, without reservation.” This literal and limited definition seems to disregard context. Sometimes it is not possible to offer forgiveness to another person, either because they are no longer alive or accessible, or because it doesn’t feel safe or appropriate for us to do so. If we disqualified the term “forgiveness” from any given transgression, what would be our goal for resolving it? In prioritizing resolution instead of reconciliation, healing rather than pardoning, we may discover more clarity of our own experience.

Let Go of Control and Find Freedom

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she repeated over and over from the edge of her hospice bed. It still echoes in my ears, along with a residual compulsion to make it better somehow. The powerlessness was palpable. My mind said, “do something!” but my heart knew there was nothing to be done. It’s unbearable to witness the suffering of someone you love. The grasping and sense of urgency is instinctive, but I felt overcome with a haunting paralysis. Then, something shifted. Throughout life we are taught in various ways how to master a sense of control. We think of it as the capacity to determine, restrain, or manage any given situation. But ultimately, control is fleeting and elusive. It’s like trying to chase the ocean waves or catch a bubble in your hands. Just when we think we have it, it eludes us. Are we ever really in control?

Spring Into Action: Find Your Green Growing Edge

Spring is known as the season of rebirth and awakening which can also be associated with discomfort or “labor pains.” There is a stirring beneath the surface, a rumbling from within, the sense that things are shaking up. There is a distinct shift in the air, an expression of restlessness, a need to stretch and move, a longing for change. Similar to what happens in nature, when we begin to feel grumblings of restlessness, discontent or stuckness, this also indicates regeneration, emergence, and transformation. Whether that means stepping into the unknown, facing our doubts or fears, cultivating the seedlings of our creative aspirations, or nudging ourself out onto that green growing edge, we are called to take action.

The Internal Tug-of-War

Have you ever promised yourself something, yet done the complete opposite? We typically have a rational understanding of what we want or what is “good” or “bad” for us, yet simultaneously we may feel pulled to act in ways that contradict our reasoning. When we experience internal conflict, it can be helpful to understand what is driving the disconnect. Are we acting in alignment with our true values or are we measuring ourselves by someone else’s standard or expectations? Do we feel free to make our own choices or are we overcompensating by asserting control in unhealthy or counterproductive ways? Does our innate need for safety and familiarity prevent us from taking the necessary risks toward positive change? Life is full of contrasts. We are able to mediate our internal conflicts through enhancing awareness and understanding of our inner contradictions.

~~ Expanding Inside Out: Part 1 ~~ When We're Closed

As different as our modern life may be in comparison to the primitive threats to survival our ancient ancestors faced, we still encounter a plethora of real and perceived attacks—natural disasters, social and economic injustices, political rivalries, bullying in schools and social media, viruses run amok, and perhaps above all, vastly conflicting views on how to address those threats. When we feel threatened, we contract—physically, emotionally, and mentally. In this defensive position, we tend to operate from a place of fear, judgment toward others (or ourselves), and a need to protect or preserve what we have. What causes us to feel closed, cautious, and uncertain?

Feeling Lost? How to Find Our Way

Years ago, before GPS was automatically connected to our everyday, handheld devices, I found myself (more than once!) lost in a foreign city, wandering aimlessly. What happens when we feel lost in our lives, doubt in ourselves, or stuck in a holding pattern? Most of us will encounter unexpected life surprises: health issues, job changes, pregnancies, family demands, etc. Life does not come with GPS, or a roadmap, or simple, easy-to-read directions. We have to navigate our way through trial and error. Here are four effective strategies to find our way when we are lost and make valuable self-discoveries in the process…

Taking the Plunge: From Security into the Unknown

Making a major career decision is almost never easy. It is human nature to stay with what feels familiar. Yet, there seems to be a generational and cultural shift happening. Millennials are significantly more likely to experience multiple careers in their lifetime. As a Gen-Xer (the generation between the Baby Boomers and the Millennials), the dilemmas between security and risk, stability and change, responsibility and passionate pursuits, feel more complicated. How can we realize a deeper appreciation of all perspectives and achieve the best balance for ourselves when making decisions?

Craving a Catalyst

Standing above the waterfall, staring down into the fresh, bubbling water more than 30 feet below made my heart race and dance. I wanted to feel the thrill of falling and the sense of refreshing accomplishment when I plunged into the cool water. Then I began to doubt…