Posts tagged breakup
The Art of Repair in Relationships

In Japan, kintsugi is the art of mending of broken objects. Sometimes our relationships can feel broken. We make mistakes, we see things from different points of view, we disagree, our priorities shift, we drift apart. Every relationship encounters conflict. No relationship is perfect. The greatest marker of a healthy relationship is one that is able to repair effectively. Repair is the cornerstone of a secure relationship. Cultivating the capacity to recover from conflict helps us restore safety and trust. 

Like kintsugi, mending our relationships makes them resilient and whole again. When we invest in the art of repair, we end up with something that not only stands the test of time, but actually increases in value.

Using the acronym R.E.P.A.I.R, this article explores six basic principles to restore connection in your relationships.

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Love Contradiction

Love is confusing. We navigate family pressures, social comparisons, and childhood fantasies as we try to make high-stakes decisions about our future. We encounter conflicting messages ranging from “You deserve better” to “It could be worse.” We are told not to depend on anyone else to make us happy and fulfilled, and yet, studies show that people in meaningful relationships tend to be healthier and happier. Online dating (curating and perusing profiles, responding to messages, coordinating meetups, etc) has been referred to as a full-time job. Analysis paralysis, dating fatigue, and disillusionment are rampant as more people withdraw from daunting dating prospects or settle for unfulfilling partnerships to avoid the risk of starting over. What if we accepted that love is fickle and stopped trying so hard to control it? Rather than white knuckling our way into love, what if we let go and throw our hands in the air. Not in defeat. In liberation and in trust.

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10 Ways to Navigate Life’s Challenging Changes

We are constantly moving through inevitable shifts and seasonal cycles in our respective lives. Getting married or splitting up. Welcoming a new baby or adjusting to an empty nest. Freezing eggs or surrendering to the waning biological clock. Changing careers or preparing for retirement.

At times we may encounter unexpected changes that can leave us feeling confused, disoriented, or even powerless. Other times, we might feel an inner restlessness motivating us to try something new. We may deeply desire something different—in a romantic relationship, career, location, or lifestyle—but struggle to find the impetus to act on it. We teeter between taking risks and staying with what feels safe and familiar. Whether you’re in a season of growth or pruning away, celebration or reflection, starting school or ending a chapter, incorporate these 10 simple strategies to navigate life’s challenging changes with greater ease and authenticity.

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How to Survive Competition & Rejection

Most of us have experienced rejection in countless ways over our lifespan. The feeling of being rejected activates our brain in much the same way as physical pain. We subconsciously experience rejection as a direct threat to our survival and wellbeing. We begin to believe that if we are not good, successful, attractive, rich, or powerful enough, we will be rejected. This way of thinking keeps us stuck in a trap where we desperately fear rejection, feel forced to compete or prove ourselves by compensating for what we perceive as shortcomings, and ultimately contributes to a society that is rooted in deception and disconnection. Alternatively, we can consciously choose to cultivate skills which allow us to be true to who we are, provide a sense of freedom, and help us to advance both individually and collectively. Our more evolved survival strategies must incorporate collaboration, creativity, compromise, compassion, and connection.

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The Power of a Broken Heart

It may seem unusual to write an article about heartbreak in honor of Valentine’s Day, but somehow it feels fitting considering the experience of the last year. The impact of chronic stress, self-neglect (poor diet, sedentary lifestyle), and lack of social connection (supportive relationships) all contribute to poor cardiovascular health. As much as we may be susceptible to heartbreak or heart disease, we are also full of potential for heart fortifying and heart healing. We can support the heart, not only through improved lifestyle choices, but also in recognizing and honoring the profound power it holds. Discover three simple ways to connect to the heart and why it’s important…

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