The Power of a Broken Heart
Photo by Jakob Owens
If you’ve ever experienced a broken heart, you never forget the deep and pervasive ache at the very center of your core. The throbbing visceral sensation of your insides desperate to escape the crushing pressure within. The complete physical and psychological collapse that follows, feeling stripped of your strength and depleted of every ounce of energy and hope, barely able to hold yourself upright.
It may seem unusual to write an article about heartbreak in honor of Valentine’s Day, but somehow it feels fitting considering the experience of the last year. We have been inundated by headlines of racial injustices and rising rates of death, divorce, domestic violence, unemployment, and risk of suicide.
Our hearts can hurt. Not just metaphorically. Literally, our heart (weighing in at less than one pound) is prone to becoming wounded by our life experiences. The impact of chronic stress, self-neglect (poor diet, sedentary lifestyle), and lack of social connection (supportive relationships) all contribute to poor cardiovascular health. We experience heartache, heartburn, and heart failure, and yet our heart’s vulnerability is only one side of its story.
This muscular organ works tirelessly to sustain us, pumping 1.5 gallons of blood every minute though 60,000 miles of blood vessels. Without our conscious awareness, our heart is fueling every part of our body, circulating critical nutrients, protecting us from invaders and infections (warding off viruses and bacteria), and carrying out toxins via the blood and the intricate vascular network.
The heart is strong, steadfast and resilient. As much as we may be susceptible to heartbreak or heart disease, we are also full of potential for heart fortifying and heart healing. We can support the heart, not only through improved lifestyle choices, but also in recognizing and honoring the profound power it holds.
The heart connects to the brain by way of the vagus nerve which extends from the brain stem to the abdomen. More nerve endings run from the heart to the brain than from the brain to the heart. In this way, one might say the heart informs the brain. The heart sends important signals and messages to the brain (and vice versa), where we process the information and determine how to respond through thoughts and behaviors.
This innate biological process offers the opportunity to enhance our connection to ourselves. We can mindfully become more receptive to the strength, the wisdom, and the emotional insight of the heart in ways that guide us through our life. This allows us to better understand, trust, and connect to ourselves.
When we feel more authentically connected to ourselves, we feel more safe and secure. The same bundle of nerves (ventral vagal) between the heart and the brain also help us to calm down. When we are in this parasympathetic state, we have the ability to rest, repair and restore. This is when we are best able to heal.
Life is full of loss, disappointment, and heartache. Sometimes we are forced to say goodbye to a loved one for the last time. Sometimes we feel betrayed by someone we trusted. Sometimes we are haunted by memories of rejection and abandonment. We can’t escape it.
However, those moments offer us the opportunity to harness the power of the heart. Though counterintuitive when we feel broken-hearted, this is when we can lean into the pain and connect to our heart. The more we connect, the more the heart can become open, receptive, and trusting of its innate strength, vitality, compassion, and courage residing within.
Simple ways to connect to our heart:
Connect to nature, a pet, or a trusted source of support