Posts tagged emotion
Anger Part 3: Finding Your Release Valve

“I had a long fuse, but when it blew, watch out!” Erik explained. He was always a rule follower, well-behaved and compliant, but even as a kid, he struggled with his anger. His early strategy to suppress it became unsustainable as he grew older and experienced life's challenges.

We are taught to control it, conceal it, avoid it, deny it, deal with it. We are usually not taught to feel our anger, nor how expressing it effectively can be healthy for us. How do you express anger at your worst? How do you express anger at your best?

Learning to respond to anger effectively helps to harness this powerful emotion so that it doesn’t hijack you unexpectedly. Make your anger work for you rather than against you. Prioritize safety, then don’t be afraid to unleash the beast. Learn how to self-regulate, then experiment with how to express your anger.

Read more for ways to safely respond and express this powerful emotion…

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Anger Part 2: Toxic or Tonic for Health?

Erik’s anger motivated him to act purposefully and advocate for countless others. Yet, the spark within him could ignite a blazing fire. He unintentionally wounded others with hurtful remarks, and burnt bridges he (figuratively) helped to construct. 

Anger can cause collateral damage to our health and relationships. Dysregulated anger results in impulsive acts of violence, hateful speech, destructive belief systems, and contagion effects with devastating consequences. Some people try to suppress their anger or internalize it, but it almost always makes its way to the surface.

Anger communicates with us when our boundaries are inadvertently crossed or blatantly violated. It not only connects us to our values (eg. fairness, integrity, compassion, etc) and what we care about most (eg. relationships, reputation, etc), anger also motivates us to take action. Although most of us don’t enjoy being angry, acknowledging our anger and its impact on us is an important part of defusing it’s harm and harnessing its power.

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How to Process Your Emotions

“I don’t know what processing my feelings means,” he said matter of factly. “People say that, and have no idea what they mean.” 

We talk about processing our emotions like there is some kind of step-by-step protocol. Unfortunately, the most sustainable remedies for complicated feelings like anger, grief, and anxiety don’t come with easy-to-follow directions or guaranteed results. The processing of our emotional experiences requires significantly more exploration and trial & error. The good news is, our body is a natural processor. It is constantly processing toxins, chemicals, electrical energy, and nutrients. The way our body processes our feelings is similar to the way it processes the food we eat. When we eat too much or eat too fast, we end up with indigestion. When we become overwhelmed with emotion, or avoid or deny our feelings, we can experience emotion indigestion. Though our emotions don’t necessarily follow a narrow course like the digestive tract, our body has an innate capacity to turn a raw experience (like the death of a loved one) into something that nourishes us and facilitates healing. As we learn to integrate our emotions into who we are, we become less fragmented and more authentically whole.

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Memory Part 2: The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Memories make up the story of our lives.

We each possess a unique ability to consolidate, store, and integrate memories depending on how we process information. How and what we remember about our experiences becomes an evolving narrative. Our narrative consists of implicit and explicit memory and is influenced by the collective and cultural context in which we dwell. These narratives (with varying degrees of accuracy) contribute to our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. We can harness the malleability of our memory and the meaning we attribute to our experiences to support healing and internalize a more empowering story.

Explore six unique ways to tap into the transformative power of memory and the stories we tell ourselves.

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Redefining Forgiveness and How to Heal Without It

“Forgiveness makes me feel weak and vulnerable.” We can be hurt in a plethora of ways, from overt abuse and injustice, to social infractions and insensitive oversights. The latin word for forgive is “perdonare,” which means “to give completely, without reservation.” This literal and limited definition seems to disregard context. Sometimes it is not possible to offer forgiveness to another person, either because they are no longer alive or accessible, or because it doesn’t feel safe or appropriate for us to do so. If we disqualified the term “forgiveness” from any given transgression, what would be our goal for resolving it? In prioritizing resolution instead of reconciliation, healing rather than pardoning, we may discover more clarity of our own experience.

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The Power of a Broken Heart

It may seem unusual to write an article about heartbreak in honor of Valentine’s Day, but somehow it feels fitting considering the experience of the last year. The impact of chronic stress, self-neglect (poor diet, sedentary lifestyle), and lack of social connection (supportive relationships) all contribute to poor cardiovascular health. As much as we may be susceptible to heartbreak or heart disease, we are also full of potential for heart fortifying and heart healing. We can support the heart, not only through improved lifestyle choices, but also in recognizing and honoring the profound power it holds. Discover three simple ways to connect to the heart and why it’s important…

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Tolerating Ambiguity ~ The New SuperPower

“Never. Rarely. Sometimes. Often. Always.”

We are in the throes of such an ambiguous moment in time right now. The variation in people’s responses are not as simple as state borders or political divides. This is a subjective experience, evoking contradictory emotions and ambiguous loss. We yearn for what we cannot have right now— the ability to move about freely in the world, celebrating rites of passage together, the simple pleasure of walking into a market without fear. In recognizing the diversity of our experiences and honoring our emotional responses, we embody the super power to tolerate ambiguity.

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