Posts tagged differentiation
Strength Through Our Differences

When my husband and I first started dating 18 years ago, it was a common contention between us that he didn’t like to do the things I liked to do (eg. try new restaurants, travel to exotic places, etc). This created ongoing conflict. 

Variety may be “the spice of life,” but diversity supports our very existence. Biodiversity, cultural diversity, emodiversity (emotional diversity), all promote balance and resilience on our planet and in our relationships.

Though intellectually, as humans we understand there are inherent differences between us, we may experience conflict when those different beliefs, values, or priorities are expressed. 

Being able to honor ourselves as separate and different from others, including our intimate partners, is the foundation of a healthy relationship. This capacity to differentiate cultivates self-awareness, and fosters empathy, authenticity, and integrity.

Learn how to differentiate and discover the benefits of honoring our diverse experiences.

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Anger Part 2: Toxic or Tonic for Health?

Erik’s anger motivated him to act purposefully and advocate for countless others. Yet, the spark within him could ignite a blazing fire. He unintentionally wounded others with hurtful remarks, and burnt bridges he (figuratively) helped to construct. 

Anger can cause collateral damage to our health and relationships. Dysregulated anger results in impulsive acts of violence, hateful speech, destructive belief systems, and contagion effects with devastating consequences. Some people try to suppress their anger or internalize it, but it almost always makes its way to the surface.

Anger communicates with us when our boundaries are inadvertently crossed or blatantly violated. It not only connects us to our values (eg. fairness, integrity, compassion, etc) and what we care about most (eg. relationships, reputation, etc), anger also motivates us to take action. Although most of us don’t enjoy being angry, acknowledging our anger and its impact on us is an important part of defusing it’s harm and harnessing its power.

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