letting go — EMPOWERED TIMES BLOG

Love Contradiction

Love is confusing. We navigate family pressures, social comparisons, and childhood fantasies as we try to make high-stakes decisions about our future. We encounter conflicting messages ranging from “You deserve better” to “It could be worse.” We are told not to depend on anyone else to make us happy and fulfilled, and yet, studies show that people in meaningful relationships tend to be healthier and happier. Online dating (curating and perusing profiles, responding to messages, coordinating meetups, etc) has been referred to as a full-time job. Analysis paralysis, dating fatigue, and disillusionment are rampant as more people withdraw from daunting dating prospects or settle for unfulfilling partnerships to avoid the risk of starting over. What if we accepted that love is fickle and stopped trying so hard to control it? Rather than white knuckling our way into love, what if we let go and throw our hands in the air. Not in defeat. In liberation and in trust.

People and RelationshipsErin MasonFebruary 13, 2024love, dating, relationships, discovery, breakup, letting go, openness, security, vulnerability

10 Ways to Navigate Life’s Challenging Changes

We are constantly moving through inevitable shifts and seasonal cycles in our respective lives. Getting married or splitting up. Welcoming a new baby or adjusting to an empty nest. Freezing eggs or surrendering to the waning biological clock. Changing careers or preparing for retirement.

At times we may encounter unexpected changes that can leave us feeling confused, disoriented, or even powerless. Other times, we might feel an inner restlessness motivating us to try something new. We may deeply desire something different—in a romantic relationship, career, location, or lifestyle—but struggle to find the impetus to act on it. We teeter between taking risks and staying with what feels safe and familiar. Whether you’re in a season of growth or pruning away, celebration or reflection, starting school or ending a chapter, incorporate these 10 simple strategies to navigate life’s challenging changes with greater ease and authenticity.

Redefining Forgiveness and How to Heal Without It

“Forgiveness makes me feel weak and vulnerable.” We can be hurt in a plethora of ways, from overt abuse and injustice, to social infractions and insensitive oversights. The latin word for forgive is “perdonare,” which means “to give completely, without reservation.” This literal and limited definition seems to disregard context. Sometimes it is not possible to offer forgiveness to another person, either because they are no longer alive or accessible, or because it doesn’t feel safe or appropriate for us to do so. If we disqualified the term “forgiveness” from any given transgression, what would be our goal for resolving it? In prioritizing resolution instead of reconciliation, healing rather than pardoning, we may discover more clarity of our own experience.

Let Go of Control and Find Freedom

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she repeated over and over from the edge of her hospice bed. It still echoes in my ears, along with a residual compulsion to make it better somehow. The powerlessness was palpable. My mind said, “do something!” but my heart knew there was nothing to be done. It’s unbearable to witness the suffering of someone you love. The grasping and sense of urgency is instinctive, but I felt overcome with a haunting paralysis. Then, something shifted. Throughout life we are taught in various ways how to master a sense of control. We think of it as the capacity to determine, restrain, or manage any given situation. But ultimately, control is fleeting and elusive. It’s like trying to chase the ocean waves or catch a bubble in your hands. Just when we think we have it, it eludes us. Are we ever really in control?

An Abundance Mindset: 4 Ways to Shift Out of Scarcity Thinking

Scarcity is synonymous with inadequacy, deficiency, lack or dearth. Many of us experience scarcity when we operate from a place of not-enoughness. Concepts that characterize this not-enoughness (e.g. scarcity mindset, inferiority complex, imposter syndrome, etc.) have become common vernacular. Scarcity mindset implies a tightening, grasping, fearful and defensive stance. Just as we can get caught in a cycle of threat, shutting down, immobilization and fear, we can also embark on a self-perpetuating journey of choice, openness, flow and enoughness. Approaching our circumstances, decisions, and relationships from a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity, allows us to relax, open-up, and trust that whatever is, is enough.

~~ Expanding Inside Out: Part 2 ~~ Why and How to Open

As we enter into the holidays, we may find ourselves challenged to be around people with whom we disagree. We seem to increasingly judge those who don’t think, believe, or vote like us, and lash out against one another based on vaccination status, political affiliation, and personal priorities. Life is not binary. It’s not as simple as good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, black vs. white, blue vs. red, you vs. me. Life is a continuum of experiences and perspectives. How can we challenge ourselves to imagine what it’s like to see through another person’s eyes? Empathy is the art of figuratively stepping into another person’s shoes, and imagine what it’s like to be them. The ability to imagine an experience outside of our own helps to connect us with compassion. Compassion is the bridge to our shared experiences and our common humanity. In this article, consider four questions to inspire an expanded perspective, an abundant mindset, and curious compassion…

Falling Inward ~ 5 Ways to Harness Autumn Healing

For many years I dreaded the changing of the seasons from summer to fall. Days felt desperately short, nights were dark and threatening, and trees shed any sign of life leaving behind their tree skeletons. This began, for me, with a life crisis that took place during the autumn months several decades ago. For years afterward, I had a painful association the moment I felt the sharp shift in the air and the changing colors of leaves before they would drop from their branches. Whether we love or loathe the fall, this transitional season offers us an opportunity to heal from our past life experiences. Here are five key autumn themes to support our natural healing process…

Breathing in a Better Life

“Just take a deep breath." It’s the most commonly distributed advice when we are stressed or anxious, angry or uncertain, unable to concentrate, or unable to sleep. It seems too simple and too mundane to actually work. Yet the art of mindful breathing boasts many physical, psychological, and cognitive benefits. In Chinese medicine, the lungs are associated with the season of autumn which makes this the perfect time to create your own breath practice. Take a look at my video for a guided practice as we explore seven different breathwork strategies and how they help to calm, restore and enhance our overall sense of wellness.

Ready, Set... Let Go!

At times letting go may feel liberating. Other times it feels scary and involves considerable risk. It can be associated with fear… fear of the unknown, fear of loss, fear of powerlessness, fear of separation, fear of losing control. Letting go is a challenging skill which requires discernment, courage, and trust. Many of us have experienced holding on in a way that keeps us stuck or feels grasping, striving, and desperate. We may have held on to something at our own expense, to the point we end up exhausted and diminished. What causes us to hold on or hold back, and what might give us the confidence to let go?

Self-DiscoveryErin MasonJanuary 26, 2019letting go, liberate, possibility, opportunity, security, trust, confidence

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