Taking the Plunge: From Security into the Unknown
At two years old, sporting a diaper-laced swimsuit, I stood at the edge of the high-diving board, staring down into the deep end of the pool. Blond curls protruded from my little head in all directions, as though they were trying to escape the possible plunge into the water ten feet beneath me.
Somehow, I had wandered away from my family at the crowded public swimming pool on a hot summer day. By the time my dad spotted me across the swimsuit-clad crowd, I was already ascending the ladder (with no floaties!), climbing to what must have looked to me like an exciting opportunity I couldn’t resist.
It’s a story my parents often told to illustrate my premature determination. I have always been drawn to exciting opportunities—travel, romantic, artistic, social, financial. Yet, I have noticed this strange thing happening as I inch into my fifth decade on this planet. Even though excitement and novelty are still enticing to me, there is a hesitation or reluctance to pursue the unknown.
I am considered to be at the tail end of Generation-X, among those individuals born between 1961 and 1981. The “X” may signify “unknown.” Or it may mean “here we are!,” rebels on the map of time. The term was inspired by Douglas Coupland’s novel, Generation-X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture. Perhaps the “X” is simply meant to be an abbreviation for the word “accelerated.”
To me, the “X” represents the intersection of two very different eras. Gen-X is like a bridge between an immense cultural and chronological gap. The riverbank of our past is inhabited by our parents’ and grandparents’ generations. Their era, during the middle of the 20th century, was characterized by a growing capitalist economy, the stark deprivation of the Great Depression and later recessions, and a long string of violent wars. These generations embodied the sense of responsibility, practicality, and perseverance necessary to navigate the events of their lives.
On the other side, the bank of our future, is where the millennials reside. Born between the years 1981 and 1996, this sub-culture places high value on ever-evolving technology, entrepreneurial endeavors, and the pursuit of happiness. In some ways, the millennial generation boasts a pioneering spirit similar to that of our ancestors. Yet there are marked differences.
According to a 1979 national study, individuals born between 1957 to 1964 maintained steady employment from the age of 25 and older, and they changed jobs fewer than five times. Comparatively, 21% of millennials report changing jobs within the last year, and at least 50% suggest they are likely to change jobs in the coming year. These statistics indicate that previous generations had a relatively consistent career for the majority of their lives, whereas younger generations are significantly more likely to change careers multiple times during their lifetimes.
Our ancestors imagined what was possible, and had the spirit to do whatever it took. They were the “doers,” focused on their sense of responsibility, reasonable trajectories, and practical challenges. Younger generations are driven by ambitious desires, view everything as possible, and have the spirit to imagine it coming true. As “dreamers,” the generations of our future tend to be less concerned with pragmatic limitations and more influenced by limitless possibilities.
As a Gen-Xer, I feel like I exist somewhere in between. Part of me has my feet firmly planted on the ground, in reality, the way I was taught. Simultaneously, I feel my head being pulled into the clouds as my mind drifts toward unrealized dreams, passionate pursuits, and artistic endeavors.
My inquisitive nature caused me to climb up to the high-dive board when I was two years old. My naiveté allowed me to dare to tiptoe toward the edge ready to take the plunge. My adventurous spirit drew me toward the excitement of jumping into the water. Yet, fear and my developing rational brain caused me to pause. I’m not wearing my floaties! I turned around toward my dad who was gently urging me away from the edge, careful not to scare me, and I said simply, “Not today, maybe tomorrow.” My dad then carried me down the ladder to safety.
The earlier part of my career, I did what was was safe and what was expected of me. I marched my way through college, followed by graduate school, and was fortunate to secure a perfectly good job in a major city institution. I chose an applicable major “with realistic career potential” over my “esoteric hobbies” of theatre and dance. I accepted a job which offered good health benefits, excellent vacation time, and a solid retirement pension. On paper, it was an opportunity I couldn’t refuse.
However, the “esoteric” artist within me would rebel from time to time, and I struggled to keep her in check. I began to resist the system which signed my paycheck every month because it dictated to me what my goals were, charted out for me how to reach them, and reminded me I was vested. Vested, I’d come to learn, meant I was wearing golden handcuffs. You may feel stuck, but it’s okay, because the shiny, bright benefits look so good.
I continued to punch the clock, so to speak. Five years passed, and I convinced myself, as soon as I became licensed as a psychotherapist, I could move on to find something that feels like a better fit. Ten years passed, and I told myself to let it be just a job which supports the life I want to live. After all, this job helped me to afford all my additional professional training and travel opportunities, with plenty of time to enjoy both.
Fifteen years later, having established wonderful relationships, leadership opportunities, and significant professional autonomy, I urged myself to hang in there. I’d come too far to turn back now. Just another fifteen years, and I’d be sitting pretty in retirement. Another fifteen years?! I could hear my dad’s voice, the voices of his parents and their parents before them, whispering in my ear. “Be practical; fulfill your responsibilities; advance within the system; don’t throw it all away; don’t jump into something new and unknown!”
“Not today, maybe tomorrow.” How often do we tell ourselves that? I have heard myself say it countless times since I was two years old standing at the edge of that diving board. The problem is, “tomorrow” may turn into the next day… the next month… the next year. Maybe never. How long could I say “not today,” without missing a critical window of opportunity?
Sometimes being the “X” —in the intersection, the position in between— can be confusing. We may allow pragmatic limitations to hold us back from our dreams. Or perhaps our need for security and predictability seems incompatible with our desire to pursue more “esoteric” limitless possibilities. Yet, our unique positioning at the crossroads of a generational, cultural, and influential intersection, may actually allow us to benefit from the perspectives and experiences of both sides.
I cherish some of the advice I get from my niece who is a millennial. She coaches me to think big, to dream up the most outrageous thing I can imagine and go after it. She makes me believe anything is possible. I am fortunate to have people in my life who believe in me, who support my decisions, and who cheer me on when I’m standing on the edge desperately wanting to jump even when I’m afraid.
I see how quickly life moves, and I refuse to wait for another tomorrow. I am shedding my golden handcuffs and all the pretty perks accompanying them. I did not jump off the diving board at that crowded public swimming pool nearly 40 years ago. Even though I know how to swim now, jumping from up high into the unknown remains for me an exhilarating challenge. I look to bridge the two sides of the generational riverbank. I will listen to the older generations and take practical steps toward my goals. I will take responsibility for my happiness and my professional fulfillment. I will also heed the wisdom of my young niece and her friends who believe anything is possible. So dream big! And if you want it badly enough, trust yourself, and take the plunge.