The Agency in Our Attitude ~ Keep the Blue Side Up!
After 9/11, I developed an annoying fear of flying. My father was a naval aviator, turned commercial airline pilot who married my mother (a flight attendant) in the 1970s. I grew up in and surrounded by airplanes. My first flight was when I was three weeks old, and I never stopped. I spent much of my childhood moving through the air without a care. Then suddenly, the images of the planes colliding into the World Trade Center changed everything. I felt grounded. Terrified to take to the skies.
Travel had always been extremely important to me. Freedom, adventure, and exposure to cultural experiences were strong values of mine. I refused to stop traveling as a matter of principle, but it became very difficult for me. I would call my dad before boarding any flight. He didn’t so much reassure me emotionally to calm my fears as he would talk through the technicalities. Fluent in the language of logic and physics, he would explain the various backup systems of the 737 and the statistics to support the probability of my survival.
He would end each call with the sound advice common among aviators: “Keep the blue side up!”
And I would hang up the phone, take a deep breath, and board the plane.
The expression has stayed with me, not only when I board a flight, but as a sort of blueprint for how to approach life.
Getting Oriented
Keep it simple.
Find the horizon; keep the blue side up.
If it’s dark or they experience vertigo, pilots can become disoriented during a flight and not know which way to turn.
Similarly, there are times in our lives when we find ourselves lost and uncertain. Is this the right partner for me? Should I go back to school for a different degree? What is the best treatment for this health condition? Am I ready for this promotion?
Pilots refer to an instrument called an attitude indicator, which helps to orient the pilot according to where the horizon meets the sky. “Keep the blue side up” offers a general guideline to know if they’re safely positioned and moving toward their desired direction.
It’s not a specific or demanding directive. The guidance doesn’t feel oppressive, urgent, or micromanaging. They’re not being told, “Proceed due west at 42 degrees at 523 knots!”
The instruction is encouraging and simple: when in doubt, keep yourself upright. Orient toward the blue side. Stay the course.
Sometimes, we might want to know exactly how to proceed and specifically what steps to take. When we are scared or confused, we might feel desperate and compelled to search for the answers. We want reassurance of the “right” answer. We want to know with certainty!
However, the best answers are often not specific or absolute.
The most meaningful answers are revealed, alongside our developing skills, through the discovery process of real life experience.
Seeking the blue
Blue skies indicate fair weather, free from the storms that can threaten to bring us down or shake us up.
Weather conditions are changeable, be it in the sky or throughout our life experiences.
We encounter gloomy moods and gloomy skies. Turbulence wakes us up and reminds us to pay attention. Clouds and rain (ie. environmental challenges) are inevitable and necessary to balance our ecosystem, as well as our bodily system. At times, a storm can keep us stuck in a holding pattern or grounded indefinitely waiting for it to pass.
Many songs have been written about blue or clear skies, which convey a sense of ease, joy, and freedom. There is a hopeful or stereotypically celestial quality to the image of a blue sky. It offers a reassurance that everything will be okay and the peace of mind that comes with it.
To keep the blue side up implies that we can deliberately navigate ourselves according to the signs and signals around us. The “attitude indicator” on the instrument panel tells a pilot when their attitude (positioning of the plane) is safe and satisfactory.
The aeronautical term “attitude” doesn’t refer to whether the pilot is in a good or bad mood, but rather as a way to determine how to proceed with confidence.
The (metaphorical) blue side is our point of reference, where we can trust the direction we are moving. The blue sky indicates good visibility. When we have the capacity to see clearly, we can veer safely around obstacles. We have more clarity and confidence about where we are and where we are going.
Discovering the power to choose
There is a wide continuum of possibilities along our course.
When the guidance is simple and attainable, we realize there are all kinds of variables over which we have significant influence. As long as we keep the blue side up, we can choose our velocity, our altitude, our direction, our attitude, etc.
Even for those of us who don’t know how to fly a plane, we can still choose the direction we move, how fast we go, how to spend our time, who to spend it with, and what to focus our attention on.
We discover our sense of agency in how we navigate through our journey.
If we have a general point of reference, we can experiment with the details.
When we are oriented toward the safety and clarity of the blue side, we are in effect choosing a perspective that supports us. Our perspective impacts our thoughts, our beliefs, and our story, all of which in turn, influence our decisions in life.
If we find ourselves turned upside down, struggling for perspective, we can remind ourselves how to reorient.
We can keep our hands on the wheel. We can refer to our “instruments” (people we trust, our body’s signals for basic needs, etc) to keep the blue side up. We can choose to stay airborne. We decide not to jump from the plane, abandoning all hope and responsibility. We choose not to plummet to the ground in despair.
Regardless of our destination, if our priority is to keep the blue side up, there is a good likelihood that we will accomplish our mission safely. It makes it seem feasible. If we are overwhelmed, uncertain, or discouraged, the idea of simply keeping the blue side up offers some element of hope in its simplicity.
It’s an expression of encouragement and trust.
If we get lost? blue side up.
If we get scared? blue side up.
If we get tired? blue side up.
Each voyage may not get easier. They all come with their unique challenges. Life, like hurtling through the air in a metal can, can get bumpy. We may encounter turbulence or challenging weather conditions. Clear skies can become obscured. We get disoriented.
This is the nature of learning how to fly—embarking on a journey and venturing into the unknown. As we practice, we acquire more skill and more confidence. If we can keep our guidance simple, direct and clear, re-orienting may become second nature. Searching for “blue" becomes automatic. We instinctively align our attitude. Finding the safety of clear skies becomes inevitable.
Quests to
consider:
What does the “blue side” (aka blue skies) mean to you?
What signs and signals help you reorient when you feel lost?
How do you respond during (metaphorically) turbulent weather conditions?
Identify the choices/options you have in your particular journey right now.
What beliefs or stories do you tell yourself when you’re struggling with perspective?
What expression or mantra can you create to support yourself along your personal journey?