shame — EMPOWERED TIMES BLOG

Self-Forgiveness for Emotional Regeneration

The human body is a marvel at releasing and renewing. Our bodies know how to let go of what has served its purpose through cellular regeneration. Though our body intuitively clears and heals, our minds often cling to regret, shame, and self-blame—setting up defenses that keep us stuck in emotional “scar tissue”.

Learning how to recognize when we are stuck in self-defeating cycles is integral to our mental health. Many people fear that forgiving themselves will let them “off the hook” too easily. Sometimes our need for forgiveness stems from a behavior or action within our control. Other times, we may subconsciously blame ourselves for something that was outside of our power like accidents, being abused or assaulted, or circumstances we never chose.

Self-forgiveness isn’t as simple as being excused or absolved. It’s not about denying or justifying harmful actions. It is a process of being honest with oneself, accepting responsibility, and cultivating self-compassion. This requires a level of vulnerability that we can’t force or hack our way through.

Like our body’s constant cellular regeneration, self-forgiveness is a powerful healing process. Emotional regeneration allows us to shed old stories, release what no longer serves us, and make space for new beginnings. The following steps serve as guideposts in your self-forgiveness journey…

The Transformative Power of Revealing Our Secrets

When I was five years old, I spilled a bottle of nail polish on the carpet. Afraid to confess, I desperately tried to erase the evidence. The more I scrubbed, the more the small, pink stain grew into a coagulated, watermelon-sized mess that lingered for years.

We typically keep secrets to protect ourselves against potential punishment or being judged or misunderstood. We avoid events that feel too scary to share— a trauma, an infidelity, unsurmountable debt, an abortion, or a health diagnosis.

Much like my nail polish incident, the secrets we keep can expand, consuming more of us than we realize. Secrets don’t vanish when we hide them; they shape the stories we tell about ourselves. We expend so much effort and energy hiding or worrying about being found out, we exist in a chronic mode of fear or protection that can make us sick and exhausted.

Secrecy fragments identity. Truth integrates it. When we acknowledge who we are—even the difficult parts—we begin to feel whole. Sharing our truth— wisely, not recklessly— we lighten the weight we’ve been carrying. Sometimes the very thing we’ve kept hidden can become the source of connection, strength, and inspiration for ourself and others.

Inspiring Imperfection in a Season of Comparison

We may imagine summer as a season of ease and freedom—barefoot in the grass, sun on your skin, wind in your hair— but for many of us, it’s also a time that evokes contradiction and comparison. We peel away layers of clothing, only to scrutinize the bodies beneath. Beach holidays and pool parties entice us to be carefree and savor the moment, but we often find ourselves stuck in an old script—measuring our bodies against others, or against our own from summers past.

The goalposts of beauty are always shifting. We internalize the cultural messages and adapt to the fickle social trends. We strive to conform, yet long to feel seen. We pursue perfection, meanwhile we aspire to be authentic. Perfection pushes us into a binary and absolute way of existing: all or nothing, good or bad, right or wrong. Though rooted in the desire to be whole or complete, unrelenting perfectionism often disconnects us from our true selves.

Just as investing in external relationships creates safety and trust, investing in the relationship with ourselves deepens our connection to who we are—not how we look. When we embrace imperfection, we cultivate a more free and authentic relationship with ourselves. Here are 7 Ways to love the skin you’re in this summer.

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