When I was five years old, I spilled a bottle of nail polish on the carpet. Afraid to confess, I desperately tried to erase the evidence. The more I scrubbed, the more the small, pink stain grew into a coagulated, watermelon-sized mess that lingered for years. 

We typically keep secrets to protect ourselves against potential punishment or being judged or misunderstood. We avoid events that feel too scary to share— a trauma, an infidelity, unsurmountable debt, an abortion, or a health diagnosis. 

Much like my nail polish incident, the secrets we keep can expand, consuming more of us than we realize. Secrets don’t vanish when we hide them; they shape the stories we tell about ourselves. We expend so much effort and energy hiding or worrying about being found out, we exist in a chronic mode of fear or protection that can make us sick and exhausted.

Secrecy fragments identity. Truth integrates it. When we acknowledge who we are—even the difficult parts—we begin to feel whole. Sharing our truth— wisely, not recklessly— we lighten the weight we’ve been carrying. Sometimes the very thing we’ve kept hidden can become the source of connection, strength, and inspiration for ourself and others.

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