Love, Fear, and Courage

  Braided together, these three concepts are intricately connected and closely intertwined. Like magnets, they both attract and repel each other. Like homeopathic remedies or immunizations, they are both the culprit and the cure. Inseparable, self-perpetuating and deeply intrinsic, these qualities bring profound significance to our human experience.

I’ve always been the type of person to dive into the deep end. Both figuratively and literally. The idea of wading into a swimming pool is almost intolerable to me. I’d rather just jump in head first, and process the shock of the cold water afterwards. For me, the alternative to jumping in without hesitation is the the other end of the spectrum: to scrutinize, analyze and relentlessly second guess a situation until, ultimately, talking myself out of a potentially exhilarating and refreshing experience.

This approach works some of the time. Except when it doesn’t. What happens when we are unable to silence or ignore the inner voice of our fears? Some people believe the antidote to fear is courage. Of course, facing our fears requires courage, but how do we acquire courage, and what do we do with our fears once we are face to face with them? How do we survive sustained periods of fear and uncertainty? What happens when we are not able to simply white-knuckle and muscle through it? In these moments, we are challenged to tap into a deeper level of strength, perseverance and courage that goes beyond simply diving into an 8-foot deep swimming pool.

In order to discover the kind of courage it takes to approach, move toward, and lean into our fears, we must access compassion, understanding, acceptance and love. Many famous quotes, scriptures, and ancient philosophies address the relationship between love and courage. The Latin derivation for the word “courage” is “cor,” meaning “heart.” The heart is the source of both love and courage. Love being an integral ingredient for, and byproduct of, courage. By opening our hearts, allowing access to our tender vulnerability, and inviting a willing receptivity, we cultivate the most authentic strength and courage possible.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the willingness to look at our fear. Pema Chodron, a teacher, author and Buddhist nun has written and spoken extensively on the subject, and she explains that the “basis of fearlessness is knowing fear.” She challenges us to be willing to go to the places that scare us. Recognizing that our fears cannot always be discarded or conquered, we are able to acknowledge and appreciate our fear as an opportunity for growth. We become skilled at examining our fears, approaching them from different angles and perspectives, and exploring them with a sense of curiosity and wonder.

Fear can be a fierce driving force for change, growth, strength, and perseverance, and love is a fierce driving force for courage. With love in our heart, our fears do not hold us back, and courage will propel us forward.