Incredible Imperfections
Since the 1950s, the American dream has meant something very specific as defined by the most popular shows on television. It meant an expanding middle-class, a happy marriage, loving children, and enough money for a house with a white-picket fence. For several decades following, Hollywood scripted the cultural and societal ideals for generations to come. The idea was essentially perfectionism—perfect husband and father, perfect wife and mother, perfect children, perfect neighborhood. June Cleaver, Ricky Ricardo, Donna Reed, Andy Griffith, and Richie Cunningham set the tone and established expectations for the nation.
Whether we remember, or even know, who these specimens of perfection are, in many ways we continue to be affected by the precedents they established more than half a century ago. Of course, the notion of perfection is something subjective and culturally— and time— specific. We now can admit that we are imperfect. We know this on a rational and logical level, but why, then, are we so hard on ourselves when we encounter mistakes and imperfections in our lives?
It’s almost as though we relentlessly search for our imperfections. We critique the way we look—our skin, our body, our hair (or lack thereof)—finding any flaw we possibly can. We judge and second guess our personal and professional decisions, easily falling into counterproductive feelings of regret, inadequacy in comparing ourselves to others, or self-blame for things we have or haven’t done.
Of course no one is perfect, and if we present ourselves as such, hiding our fallible and vulnerable nature, we risk actually impairing our ability to connect with and relate to others. Why do we laugh at stand-up comics? It’s because they find the fun, humor and relatability in human error. They put things in perspective and, in some way, dispel the judgement, shame, guilt, and embarrassment we tend to assign to our imperfections and mistakes.
A wise man who was a patient teacher, a talented carpenter, and an admirable innovator was asked how he learned to do such remarkable work. He responded simply, “Well… I made a lot of mistakes.” With these honest and pithy words of wisdom, we might challenge ourselves to view our imperfections and mistakes as sources of strength, resiliency, and progress. We may embrace our imperfections by recognizing that they give us more diverse dimension, and make our lives interesting and multi-faceted. We may accept our mistakes as a natural and necessary part of life, and even as a fortuitous impetus to change or approach things differently.
If we can take a step back, we might also see how our imperfections enhance our integrity by giving us greater substance, valuable texture, and deeper significance in our lives. And we may recognize that our greatest life stories come from our mistakes and our struggles. In those struggles, we are offered the opportunity to persevere, to overcome, to grow, and to become stronger and wiser in the process.