Curiosity: The Cure for Criticism
It is often said that we can be our own worst enemy, harshly judging ourselves for our flaws or shortcomings. When we hear whispers of self-doubt, shouts of shame, or nagging insecurity, we are challenged to find ways to attend to that critical voice within.
In honor of National Poetry Month (April) and upcoming World Meditation Day (May 20th), we explore both unconventional and traditional wisdom on how to bring more awareness, understanding, and compassion toward self.
Mindfulness is an ancient practice, brought to life through the insights of teachers, artists, and poets throughout history. The powerful practice invites us to pay attention on purpose without judgment. When we are more present in the moment, we are more present with ourselves and others. Through mindfulness, we increasingly become open to experiences, receptive of whatever arises, and better able to access our innate resources to overcome the challenges we face.
Here are five excerpts to inspire a mindful and curious approach to criticism:
By Mary Oliver
“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.”
Mary Oliver’s poem begins with the reassuring words, “You don’t have to be good.” Rather, she suggests we be true to what we love and honest about our despair. This requires self-awareness, inquiry and reflection.
“Meanwhile, the world goes on…,” she writes. Oliver not only invites us to self-reflect with curiosity, she also encourages us to shift our perspective, zoom out and open our eyes to the vast world around us.
When we are taunted by our inner critic, Oliver reminds us to discover and accept who we are and to recognize how we fit into the incredible “family” of natural wonders.
By Mevlana Rumi
“Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place.
That's where the light enters you.”
Ancient Persian poet, Rumi reminds us the importance of paying attention to our wounded places. We all sustain injuries through the process of life. Our wounds may come from childhood traumas, heartbreak, betrayal, fear, abandonment, failure or disappointment. No one escapes this life unscathed.
However, if we curiously turn toward our wounded places, with the intention to better understand, we discover unexpected treasures. The “light” that enters may come in the form of resilience, patience, perseverance, fortitude, or insight. Rumi encourages us to trust that we have something important to learn from our wounds if we are brave enough to inquire.
By Antoine de Saint-Exupery
“Well, I must endure the presence of two or three caterpillars
if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies.”
De Saint-Exupery’s timeless classic children’s book is full of curious lessons we can continue to learn throughout the lifespan. In chapter nine, the Prince’s friend, a cautious and delicate rose realizes that she no longer wants to be protected by a glass dome cover.
In life, we develop various ways to protect or cover ourselves up. We guard against perceived threats and disappointments (both external and internal), but in doing so, we also deprive ourselves of the potential for authentic and beautiful experiences.
Are we willing to risk some degree of security and certainty in order to “become acquainted with the butterflies?”
LovingKindness Mantra
“May I awaken to the light of my own true nature.”
Metta meditation is an ancient Buddhist practice which translates to “lovingkindness.” Among the various mantras in this type of meditation are wishes for peace, safety, health and happiness.
When we open our eyes with curiosity to the light (or goodness) of our true nature, we bring forth more compassion, forgiveness, acceptance, and trust. By inviting this type of lovingkindness toward ourselves, we gradually become better able to expand our kindness toward others as well.
By Shel Silverstein (Falling Up)
“There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
‘I feel that this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong.’
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What’s right for you—just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.”
Iconic children’s author, Shel Silverstein is known for his legendary book, The Giving Tree, and his numerous witty and whimsical illustrated poems.
In “The Voice,” he directs us to pay attention to the voice within us, trusting the innate knowledge and wisdom we possess. We can be easily distracted and confused by external messages from others in our lives, to include social media and cultural expectations.
However, Silverstein reminds us that only you can know what is truly “right” or “wrong” for you. We might call it conscience, intuition, or authentic self. Whatever you call it, we are challenged to tune into this inner knowing with curiosity and to trust and honor it.