Risking Security
From the very earliest age, we are challenged to navigate between our need for novelty, exploration and risk, and our need for familiarity, certainty and security. Toddlers reach inquisitively toward the glowing red coil of the stovetop, then run into the safety of their parent’s arms when their hand throbs with pain. Adolescents tend to make decisions based on peer-promoting, novelty-seeking, and adrenaline-driven opportunities, yet if they sense threat, they quickly retreat to what feels familiar or certain. Through our intimate relationships, our professional choices, our financial decisions, etc, adulthood offers us an extension of this tenuous dichotomy. We may find ourselves drawn to the excitement of risk and the potential for gain. We could also shy away from risk out of fear of failure or the unknown. We crave a sense of security that offers us comfort and reassurance. Or at times we might resist security because of its predictability and ennui. When we lean too much on our need for security or comfort, we often find ourselves in a place of stagnancy or complacency.
Initiated by our innate drive for survival, our need for security is primitive and powerful. We find a sense of safety in various places, people, or things. We can find it in a tangible and sensory experience (e.g. seeing a reassuring bank account balance). Or it can be a perceptual and emotional experience (e.g. the sound of a familiar voice). We may attribute security to people, such as parents, close friends, intimate lovers, or dependable leaders. Security can also be associated with a place that brings us a sense of peace and refuge.
However, sometimes we are challenged to step away from the comfort of what is familiar and known with the realization that in order to grow, gain, succeed, and thrive, a certain amount of risk is necessary. In fact, often times there is a direct correlation between the degree to which we are willing to take a risk, and the potential gain or loss. If the risks are impulsive and uninformed they may come at the expense of our own well-being. Of course, there is always the possibility of “failure,” or things not turning out as we expected. Whether we are contemplating a career change, pursuing our artistic endeavors, moving to another city, considering marriage and/or family, or challenging our physical abilities, we take chances throughout our lives and we learn how to manage the outcomes. One thing is certain: without the willingness to take risks, we deprive ourselves of the most expansive, rewarding, and fulfilling outcome possible. Only by accepting the risks, can we access our full potential for growth and discovery.
Questions to consider: What risk would you take if you were guaranteed a successful outcome? What feelings does the idea of taking that risk evoke for you? What does risk mean to you? What does success mean to you? In your family of origin, how has risk and security impacted decision-making? What brings you a sense of safety or security? What would an optimal balance between risk and safety look/feel like for you?