Pass the Politics, Please

Right-wing conservative Aunt Martha declares global warming is just democratic hippie propaganda. Left-wing liberal cousin, Jack insists that the republicans have deliberately perpetuated war in the Middle East and will ultimately be responsible for the demise of the human race. It’s not exactly a new phenomenon, learning how to manage conflicting political views within the same family. Although, many times children will adopt the political values of their parents, there are certainly exceptions. And once around the Thanksgiving table or at a family reunion of any sort, how do we navigate the minefields of hostility, outrage, judgement, and bitter tension when we don’t agree? It could be argued that with the exception of the American Revolution and the Civil War, the United States government is more polarized now than during many other significant moments in U.S. history. Beyond Congress and the Senate that the political polarity seems to have spread into the family system. Both sides of the debate have developed a strategy of villainizing the opposite political party and nearly every platform upon which they stand. It’s amazing to witness the vein-popping temples, the finger-pointing, the strained voices, and the condemning tones of family members we have admired and emulated much of our lives. Siblings become estranged and can no longer comfortably sit at the same table. Cousins debate who is to blame for the country’s national debt, poverty, crime, unemployment, and health care crisis. We argue about how to handle the Syrian refuges, the influx of ISIS threats and attacks, and the continued conflict in the Middle East. Meanwhile, we lose our appetites and the dinner gets cold.

The democratic values that once set this country apart from the rest, the qualities which rocketed us to superpower status, and the strength that we have demonstrated through our nation’s unity is deteriorating. We may not be able to significantly influence this polarization on a global level, but we do have the power to determine how it manifests in our homes and in our families. Is it possible to have respectful, informative, and open-minded conversations about all that is going on in this world, particularly now with the election hullabaloo beginning to gain momentum? When I asked members of my own family with perspectives as extreme in both directions as they come, their responses were dubious at best. The consensus, quite possibly their only agreement, was to avoid all conversations about politics and religion, which incidentally seem to have become increasingly intertwined. Still, this renouncement is disappointing, that we are unable to share information and ideas with each other and listen with an open heart and mind.

In view of the recent ISIS attacks that come so close to us… in consideration of how many people are without family, without homes, without countries right now… in reflecting on those family members who may not be with us this year to celebrate the holidays… I challenge each of us to find a way to come toward the center. Not necessarily to abandon our beliefs, values, and convictions, but simply not to dig our heels into what we think we know. May we open our minds, take a deep breath, soften our hearts to the people around the Thanksgiving table, and take a step closer to them. This could be an opportunity we may not encounter again.