Healing with Gratitude
Witnessing the destruction of the California wildfires over the last couple of weeks has given me pause to reflect. Although we weren't directly impacted, several close friends and family members were evacuated, and some experienced considerable damage to their properties. My heart goes out to those who lost their homes. Being a relatively nostalgic and sentimental person, I couldn't imagine losing everything. Special gifts I received from loved ones, treasured possessions passed down from grandparents, items accrued during my travels, and years of memories… each thing connected to a greater significance.
Our friend and his family showed up at our doorstep at 5:30am one morning because they had been evacuated from their home, and the hotel room they reserved (which would accept their dog, two cats, and hamster) would not be available until 3pm. As I greeted the weary family who had already been up for hours, I wondered how they were in such good spirits. Although they turned on the t.v. news to see how the fires were spreading and which direction they were moving, they seemed so calm and accepting of the situation.
Having never been evacuated myself, I asked them how they chose what to pack. They seemed unfazed by my question, and they never directly responded. Their animals were safe and sound in our garage. But as I left for work that morning, I looked at their cars and neither vehicle was packed to the brim with all their valuable possessions. I imagined they would have grabbed everything they could possibly fit— artwork, books, photo albums, family heirlooms, etc.— but there was nothing more than a couple of suitcases in the hatchback of their automobiles.
As the week continued to unfold and we saw the devastating footage of homes lost, families displaced, and dozens of people still missing, my perspective began to shift. What truly matters in a situation like this? What do we value most in this world? What means the most to us? What would be impossible to live without? Perhaps for each of us, the answers to these questions would be different. But for the family who showed up at our doorstep early that morning, the answer seemed evident. What mattered most to them was… each other.
In looking back at other articles I’ve posted around this time of year, they are more focused on how to navigate family dynamics, difficult relationships in our lives, and the mixed bag of emotion that often accompanies the holiday season. True. Family gatherings and obligations, or lack thereof, may challenge us and bring up feelings of irritation, fear, failure, frustration, anxiety, loneliness, and loss. However, when we pause to see what else is going on in the world, what is going on in our own city and state, we may realize how much we have to be grateful for. Beyond the controversial historical genesis of the holiday and the typical commercial fanfare, Thanksgiving provides us an opportunity to recognize the good qualities in our lives and express our gratitude.
Experiencing gratitude is one of the most accessible and healing things we can do for ourselves. Research indicates there are many benefits associated with maintaining a daily gratitude practice (e.g. journal, letters, meditation, etc.). Simply put, gratitude may help to improve relationships, reduce depression, improve cardiovascular health, promote better sleep, and cultivate more overall happiness. The bi-directional relationship between gratitude and health is still being studied, but the take home message is this: healthy people tend to be more grateful, and grateful people tend to be more healthy.
We all get caught up in the stresses of the daily grind, the pressures of our demanding schedules, and the frustrations of challenging relationships. However, when the walls of our immediate stress and pressure close in around us, we lose our perspective. We might neglect to see the greatness in our lives, our good fortune, and the abundance we already have at our fingertips. We might take things for granted, and lose sight of the positive aspects of our lives.
May this season remind us to reflect on the reasons we have to be grateful. May we hold positive thoughts for those who have suffered loss and who find this time of year particularly difficult. May we recognize the valuable relationships in our lives. And may we tap into the healing power of a thankful heart today and everyday.