Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary: A Sensory Experience
If you were forced to lose one of your five senses, and you could choose which one, what would you decide to live without? Sight, sound, smell, taste, or touch?
If you’ve ever encountered this hypothetical question, you’ve probably gone through the practice of imagining what life would be like without ever tasting your favorite carrot cake again or seeing a spectacular sunset over the Pacific Ocean.
The physical senses we’ve come to rely upon have become so automatic, we often take them for granted. From the moment we are born, we experience the world through our senses. Before we were able to speak or comprehend our native language, we instinctively depended on our sensory perception to give us information about safety or threat, contentment or distress, connection or separation.
By the time we are around two years old, the left side of our brain is developing, along with our capacity for language.
We learn words that help us to express our needs, navigate social norms, and share our feelings. However, over time we begin to instinctively and broadly attach meaning to words without thoughtfully considering the scope of their significance.
“Bad” becomes how we refer to unpleasant people, situations, or emotions. “No” means rejection. “Yes” means acceptable.
In the world of psychology, there is an expression: “Name it to tame it.” This implies that our ability to identify and name what we’re feeling can provide us with more control over whatever situation we are facing. For example, if I can recognize that I am feeling irritable today because I’m cutting down on caffeine, it brings more awareness to how I respond and helps to inform my decisions.
It can be incredibly empowering to use words to give voice to our internal landscape.
When we are able to articulate where we are coming from and where our needs are (or are not) being met, we are better able to respond consciously to our experience. I can let my partner know I’m a little on edge today because I’m feeling fatigued and headachy without my morning cup of joe, and s/he can either steer clear or offer support. Likewise, I can choose to turn toward my experience with more patience and understanding rather than shaming myself for my agitated state.
The spectrum of our human emotional experience is considerably more vast than a caffeine withdrawal induced irritability.
Emotion is nuanced, complicated, and diverse. We can experience conflicting emotions simultaneously.
Loss can feel like a tangled web of devastation, relief, and tenderness.
Joy can be a contradicting storm of delight, guilt, and longing.
Fear can look like a complex grid of cowering withdrawal, energizing exhilaration, and paralyzing dread.
Where emotion is infinite, language is limited. Emotion is as unique as the individual experiencing it.
Language varies depending on socio-cultural influences. There are common words and expressions in other languages and cultures which do not exist in English and thus, are harder to define, explain, or understand.
Sawubona is a greeting in the Zulu language that means, “I see you. You are valuable to me.” In English, we’re more likely to say, “Hey, how’s it going?”
Hygge is a Danish term that describes a quality of “coziness, comfort and conviviality.” In English, we might reduce this to a technical definition or a list of ingredients (cozy socks? hot chocolate?), rather than recognizing it as an atmosphere with many influential factors.
Saudade is a Portuguese expression that refers to a profound longing for something that is lost which we may never experience again. In English, we might simply call this nostalgia, and neglect the rich, nuanced ambiguities that accompany the passage of time.
The fact that these words do not offer simple or direct translations invites us to step away from the literal and explore the complexities. We can do this by exploring different ways to describe a cross-cultural concept or a complex and contradictory emotional experience.
Recent popular psychology has helped to destigmatize common emotional plights like anxiety, languishing, complex trauma, and insecure attachment.
Giving a name or label to what we feel can help us make sense of it in a general way. (“I feel anxious, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, misunderstood, etc.”) However, to deepen our understanding and add further dimension, we might expand not only our vocabulary, but also the way we identify our experience.
The same word can carry different meanings. The term “depression” for one person might be used to describe what happens after the football season comes to an end. “Depression” for someone else might be a debilitating, dark despair.
Rather than reducing our feelings to simplistic and common terms, we might think about our emotional experience by invoking the senses:
How does it sound?
Is there a tone or volume associated with it? What kind of music would represent this feeling
What does it look like?
Does it have a color or shape or size? Is it bright or muted? How close or far is it from you?
Does it have a taste?
Is it bitter or sour or sweet or spicy?
Can you smell it?
Is it fresh or rancid, fragrant or foul?
If you could touch it, how would it feel?
Is it soft or prickly, warm or cold, easy or electric?
Our emotional experience is complex and dynamic like a kaleidoscope of unique combinations of texture, contour, melody, and gradations of hue.
Think of your emotional range as a jumbo box of Crayola crayons. There are dozens of shades of grey, blue, red, and yellow. How would you describe a “periwinkle” or “burnt sienna” or “canary” state of feeling? You can also blend or layer or outline with various colors.
If you only spoke Zulu, how would you describe to someone who only speaks English what “sawubona” means? It’s much more than merely a way to greet someone. If you are feeling anxious, how can you explore and articulate what you are feeling, and how it is unique and distinct from stage fright, for example?
Without a doubt, our ability to communicate via language has immeasurable value. Our capacity to name what we feel or need helps to orient ourselves so we can respond, choose, and proceed accordingly. However, our emotional experiences exist far beyond language and the three pound neural sponge confined between our ears.
We become even more informed and authentically aware when we perceive our experience through a multidimensional lens. Our emotions are embodied. In developing a sensory and descriptive approach to them, we empower ourselves by enriching and deepening our self-understanding.
Key Steps to Creating an Embodied Experience:
Get still—Find a quiet space to reflect on how you feel in your body. Feel your feet on the ground beneath you. Scan through your body up toward the crown of your head. What emotional or physical sensations are present right now?
Embrace curiosity—Be inquisitive. Approach whatever you are experiencing in this moment with an open and non-judgmental state of mind. Ask questions without evaluating or analyzing.
Expand your emotional vocabulary—How can you describe what you are feeling through your sensory experience? Explore the use of metaphor. (eg. “I’m so anxious, I can almost feel the currents of electricity pulsing through me as if I was plugged into an electric outlet!”)
Practice—Be mindful not to default to common, generic vernacular. Instead of saying, “I’m so stressed out,” explore where it’s coming from and how you are experiencing it. Employ these strategies on the simple needs, not only the complex or confusing emotions. (eg. When you are hungry, take a few moments to ask yourself what sounds appetizing.)
Be creative—Think in terms of metaphor. Dabble in poetry. Buy the biggest box of crayons and find colors to decipher and translate your emotional experience. Use your hands to discover various tactile textures. Access your whole body. (eg. If you were in another country and you didn’t speak the language, how would you act out what you feel or need through gestures?) Explore, experiment, and play.