survival — EMPOWERED TIMES BLOG

Years ago I worked with nine-year old twins who were in the backseat of their aunt’s car when a drive-by shooter fired into the automobile killing their mother. The girls, who survived the assault, were impacted differently by the experience. As time went on, their memories of that significant day diverged even more. When we experience something intensely emotional (either positive or negative), we are more likely to remember it. Yet, how is it that two people who share the same experience might remember details completely differently? Everything we’ve ever experienced becomes a piece of the puzzle to create a representation of our life. The stories we tell ourselves are oftentimes the stories we inherently believe will sustain us and help us survive. This is a subjective process. In this two-part article, we explore the dynamic nature of memory and how it influences the stories we tell about ourselves and our world.

Beyond Our Potential ~ Thriving in Adversity

On the other side of the world, in the parched, desert landscapes of places like Nepal, Yemen, and Southwest India, the ashwagandha plant emerges from dry, rocky soil. Similar to these plants (known as adaptogens), we not only adapt through adverse environments and experiences, we adjust and access our inherent resources in remarkable ways.

On this side of the world, a very close family member was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. As I witnessed her patience and courage through the process, I was astounded by how gracefully she navigated the pain, the setbacks, and the frightening reality of her condition. I asked her what she attributed to her strength and determination. She genuinely had no idea.

We may not always realize it, but when we face challenges, we become physically and psychologically more resilient. Take a moment to reflect on the challenges you’ve faced throughout your life and the opportunities they offer to learn about yourself.

Redefining Forgiveness and How to Heal Without It

“Forgiveness makes me feel weak and vulnerable.” We can be hurt in a plethora of ways, from overt abuse and injustice, to social infractions and insensitive oversights. The latin word for forgive is “perdonare,” which means “to give completely, without reservation.” This literal and limited definition seems to disregard context. Sometimes it is not possible to offer forgiveness to another person, either because they are no longer alive or accessible, or because it doesn’t feel safe or appropriate for us to do so. If we disqualified the term “forgiveness” from any given transgression, what would be our goal for resolving it? In prioritizing resolution instead of reconciliation, healing rather than pardoning, we may discover more clarity of our own experience.

An Abundance Mindset: 4 Ways to Shift Out of Scarcity Thinking

Scarcity is synonymous with inadequacy, deficiency, lack or dearth. Many of us experience scarcity when we operate from a place of not-enoughness. Concepts that characterize this not-enoughness (e.g. scarcity mindset, inferiority complex, imposter syndrome, etc.) have become common vernacular. Scarcity mindset implies a tightening, grasping, fearful and defensive stance. Just as we can get caught in a cycle of threat, shutting down, immobilization and fear, we can also embark on a self-perpetuating journey of choice, openness, flow and enoughness. Approaching our circumstances, decisions, and relationships from a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity, allows us to relax, open-up, and trust that whatever is, is enough.

~~ Expanding Inside Out: Part 1 ~~ When We're Closed

As different as our modern life may be in comparison to the primitive threats to survival our ancient ancestors faced, we still encounter a plethora of real and perceived attacks—natural disasters, social and economic injustices, political rivalries, bullying in schools and social media, viruses run amok, and perhaps above all, vastly conflicting views on how to address those threats. When we feel threatened, we contract—physically, emotionally, and mentally. In this defensive position, we tend to operate from a place of fear, judgment toward others (or ourselves), and a need to protect or preserve what we have. What causes us to feel closed, cautious, and uncertain?

Categories: